Ass and Titties

 Ass and Titties

Патрик Райли

Patrick Riley

(If you allow me a short lyrical deviation. It’s shocking.)

The “titties” are the soft pillars of our civilization, the bursting shiny foundations of our past, present and future. The “ass” is the hot center of the Universe- the axis mundi– the connection between Heaven and Earth. Together (in combination) the Ass and the Titties represent the universal sacred purpose of life. Nothing else matters. Does it?

An old dark heavy sailboat made of metal, with brown sails furled inside black sailcovers, with rusty chain, was sitting at Marina Santa Marta. You don’t see such boats in these tropical waters. Rather, near the poles amidst icebergs and storms. This boat was a survivor.

Яхта Маги

S/V Maggie

The owner of the boat was Patrick Riley- an American who, as soon as he found out we are from Bulgaria, smiled at us with a big conspiratorial smile.

I have been in Burgas twice. I have something to show you, said Patrick and started unpacking a small rowing dinghy painted bright red, sitting upside-down on the front deck.



While he was untying the ropes Patrick remembered Mariela with a very difficult to pronounce (especially for an American) family name. Vodenicharova or Vodenicharska, or something like this. She was from Burgas. His ex-girlfriend. He learned a few Bulgarian words from her and only remembered a couple. Did you guess which ones? These two words had inspired the name of the small rowing dinghy- the most original dinghy name we have ever seen. But unfortunately, Patrick said sadly, not many can read and appreciate it… I promised him, that at least ten thousand Bulgarians who are following us on Facebook will appreciate his ingenious dinghy name.

On a green wooden plate hе had written with big yellow Cyrillic letters Цици и Дупе (Ass and Titties in Bulgarian).

Цици и Дупе

Цици и Дупе (Ass and Titties)

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